


FYI, She is a Spy

by Briarwitch



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen, fem spy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5038669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briarwitch/pseuds/Briarwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scout finds out Spy's big secret, and thinks he can take advantage of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FYI, She is a Spy

A little after two in the morning, the pepperoni bell-pepper triple cheese hot-sauce pizza caught up with Scout, and he woke up with a yelp from a nightmare involving giant weasels wielding Medic’s needle gun and wearing Pyro’s mask.

He sat bolt upright, breathing heavily and looking around the dark room. Nothing moved, and the only light came from the illuminated face of his alarm clock. Scout scowled when he saw what time it was – he’d only been asleep for two hours. With a huff, he lay back down and curled up on his side.

A few minutes later, he turned onto his other side.

Then he turned back.

This went on for a seemingly endless amount of time, before he finally gave up and lay on his back, glaring at the dark ceiling. In retrospect, putting those stale marshmallow peeps on his pizza might have been a bad idea, but Pyro had dared him to, god damn it! At least, he was pretty sure Pyro had dared him to. Freakin’ mumbler was impossible to understand half the time. Or maybe his mother had been right, and drinking a liter of caffeinated soda before bed wasn’t good for his sleep.

The cause didn’t really matter at that point, though. Scout sat up and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered.

Well, since he was awake, it was just as well go take a leak. Muttering darkly to himself, Scout threw off his blankets and clambered out of bed. He didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas. Sure, since they’d been transferred to Gorge, everyone was boarding at the base for lack of other accommodations, but he doubted any of the others would be awake at this hour. And there was nothing wrong with his pajamas; they’d been a gift from his Ma. If someone was awake, he’d just have to beat the crap out of them for making fun of his mother’s taste.

So Scout, yawning and bedecked in baseball-dotted blue cotton, went out into the hall. He winced at the florescent lighting that was always on, no matter the hour, and made his way to the bathroom once his eyes had adjusted.

The bathroom was at the back of the living quarters at the BLU base. You had to go into the locker room to get to either the group shower or the john. It was an annoying set up, especially since the door to the locker room could be locked from the inside. That had been an especial pain in the ass yesterday morning. Soldier, in one of his crazier moods, had locked himself in the locker room for a secret conference to discuss battle plans.

What plans that were so secret as to involve only himself and the toilet, he wouldn’t say. Spy had offered to pick the lock right before Heavy had taken a running start at the door. Though that had gotten them in, it had – much to Spy’s annoyance – also broken the lock.

Engineer had said he’d fix it, but it was apparently very low on his to-do list, because the lock was still broken when Scout opened the locker room door.  
The first thing Scout noticed was that the shower was running. Of course, you couldn’t see the showers from the locker room, they were around the corner. But there was no door between the two, so the mirrors in the locker room always got fogged up and the floor was always wet.

“Who the hell’s taking a shower at three in the morning?” Scout thought, listening to the water hit the tile. Then he saw whose locker was open.

Scout and Spy did not get along well, not since Scout had found out that Spy had been taking pictures of his mother. That, and the stupid Frog was just annoying; always acting like he was smarter than everyone else, always sneering at Scout’s eating habits, and always using those long foreign words that Scout knew were insults, even if he couldn’t prove it.

But one thing about Spy was that, even though he lived at the base, he never showered with anyone. The stupid fairy obviously did shower – he was so prissy about blood and dirt – it’s just no one ever caught him at it.

And now it was apparent that this was because he showered at three in the morning.

Scout grinned and walked over to Spy’s open locker. This was an opportunity that should not be allowed to pass. There were his suit and gun holster hanging up all neat, his little black shoes tucked beneath them. The mask on a hook, and the watch, butterfly knife, and cigarette case were on the shelf below the door mirror.  
Scout snickered to himself and grabbed the cigarette case. The case was technically Spy’s disguise doohickey, but it did actually hold cigarettes as well. How hilarious would it be for Spy to walk out of the shower and see Scout smoking one of his fancy-ass imported cigs?

Scout opened the case and went to grab a cigarette, but stopped. He didn’t know how the disguise thing was supposed to work – another one of Spy’s stupid little secrets that no one else was allowed to know, the bastard. But above the row of cigarettes was a row of red buttons, each imprinted with the sigil of the class that was available for disguise. But at the end of the row was a blue button, one with the outline of an unfolded butterfly knife.

Scout looked, dumbfounded, at the blue button. “Why does the fucker need a disguise of himself?”

Just then, the shower shut off. 

“Shit!” Scout put the case back where he found it and bolted into the bathroom. Once he was around the corner, he stopped and scowled at himself. Why the hell was he hiding? He wasn’t scared of the stupid faggot finding him going through his things. What the fuck was he gonna do about it? Take pictures?

Yeah, that was it; Scout was hiding because he didn’t want Spy taking pictures of him in his pajamas. That was a legitimate, not cowardly reason for hiding. Scout pressed himself against the wall as he heard footsteps on the wet cement.

It was only when Scout saw the movement that he realized that he was at the angle to see Spy reflected in the mirrors. Which, of course, meant that if Spy turned around he would be able to see Scout. Scout was ready to duck out of sight, but then he saw what was reflected in the mirrors and froze.

It wasn’t Spy, it was a woman. Hell, a tall, bony as fuck woman, but still a woman. Her hair was short and, though it was wet, it was already starting to tighten into frizzy brown curls. She had a criss-cross of white scars on her shoulders and if she’d only turn around Scout could see her tits, because the towel was only wrapped around her wide hips.  
Scout watched, mesmerized, as the tall woman stopped in front of Spy’s open locker. She undid the towel, and Scout felt a surge of excitement before he realized that the mirror wasn’t low enough to reflect anything good. 

The woman started putting on Spy’s clothes – boxers, slacks, dress shirt, tie, vest, jacket; the only unexpected article of clothing was a black brassiere that Scout had somehow missed seeing when he’d glanced through the clothes. She pulled the mask on, hiding her curls, then picked up the cigarette case.

Shoulders broadened, waist narrowed. Cigarette case and knife went into their respective pockets, and the watch went on the wrist. She closed the door, and turned away, showing off Spy’s usual hooked-nose, lantern-jawed, and very male profile.

Scout remained absolutely still, the significance of what he’d just seen finally dawning on him. Spy, thankfully, did not look in the mirror as he – she – passed, but walking to the locker room door would put Scout right in her peripheral vision.

Spy opened the locker room door, then paused. Scout felt his heart jump in his throat. 

Spy rattled the broken lock. “Idiot laborer,” she muttered. The deep voice sounded strange, now that Scout knew what was behind the disguise. Then she left, and Scout heaved a sigh of relief.

He hadn’t been caught, though how Spy had missed him… Scout blinked, looking at the wall across from him. Then he turned around and looked at the wall behind him. Scout grinned at the white polka-dotted blue wallpaper that matched the pattern of his pajamas almost perfectly. Good ol’ Ma.

Scout’s grinned broadened when he thought about what he’d just learned. Well, well, well, this certainly changed how he felt about the spy. It also explained why she was such a di…such a bitch most of the time. Hell, if it wasn’t because of hormones, it was probably because she was surrounded by a bunch of men and couldn’t get cozy with any of them. Scout was all for women’s lib – he recognized that girls had to get their rocks off too, once in a while.

And now that Scout knew her secret anyway… well, well, well.

But first, he had to do what he came for. Still grinning, Scout went the rest of the way into the bathroom. When he was done, he went back to bed, jerked off, and finally fell back asleep.

Scout was a little distracted the next day, mostly because he was planning what he was going to say to Spy that evening. He got gunned down by the same sentry three times before someone finally blew it up.

The fourth time he climbed up off the respawn room floor, there was a hum, and who should appear next to him but Spy?

Scout grinned. “Want a hand up?” he said, holding out his bandaged hand.

Spy raised an eyebrow and stood up without assistance. She brushed some invisible speck of dust off her pants.

“I don’t know if you noticed,” Scout said, tucking the ignored hand into his pocket, “but I’m doing pretty awesome today. Didja see me brain that Heavy by the point? Pow! That’s what I deliver.”

“Yes, I did see that, as a matter of fact.” Spy drawled, checking her watch. Scout wondered what her actual voice sounded like. “Right before you were set on fire, yes?”

“Pff, yeah,” Scout sniffed with a casual shrug. “Fire doesn’t bother me. I know how to take pain.”

“…Right,” Spy said with an eye roll. “If you will excuse me, petit?” She pressed the button on the side of the watch and disappeared. 

“Yeah, well, see ya later,” Scout called to the empty room. Seeing the spy cloak had made him think of something. The cloak and the disguises always failed when Spy died or backstabbed someone, but she never showed up as a girl. He’d have to ask her why that was after they finished doing the horizontal tango that night.

Scout waited an appropriate amount of time after dinner before going to Spy’s room. Everyone else was in the rec-room, trying to get a little entertainment in before bed. The Gorge base was a pain in the ass – at least Dustbowl and Sawmill had towns nearby. Here it was just mountains, trees, and hey look, more mountains.

This was the time that Spy usually locked herself in her room and played snooty records, so Scout was fairly sure he’d find her there and alone. Reaching her door, he could hear the high-pitched wail of a violin solo, and he knew he’d been correct. He knocked on the door and waited.

The music cut off, and a few moments later the door opened.

“Ah, Scout,” Spy said with a raised eyebrow. “Impeccable timing, I was just considering going to look for you.”

“Really?” Scout asked, his heart racing.

“Yes,” Spy said, stepping aside so Scout could enter the room.

Scout did so with a grin, and Spy shut the door behind him. “So uh, why’d ya wanna see me?” Scout asked, looking around at the record player in the corner, the dresser, and the queen-sized bed. Especially the bed. He’d already decided that Spy must have seen him the bathroom, and was as eager to get to the forgone conclusion as he was.

“Well,” Spy said, walking up with her hands tucked behind her back. “One does not get into my profession without possessing a healthy curiosity.”

That sounded promising. “And you wanna satisfy your curiosity, is that it?” Scout asked with a smirk.  
Spy raised her eyebrows. “Quite.”

Scout took a step closer to her. “Well you know, babe, all you really had to do was ask this whole time.”

Spy took a step back and blinked. “Babe?” she asked. She tilted her head to the side and frowned. “Scout, are we talking about the same thing?”

“Well,” Scout said, clapping his hands together, “Why don’t you tell me what you’re talking about and we’ll find out?”

Spy raised her eyebrows. “I merely wanted an explanation for your bizarre behavior today.”

“Bizarre?”

She reached into the inner pocket of her jacket and took out her cigarette case. For a moment, Scout thought she was going to take off her disguise, but she only took out a cigarette. “There was none of your usual… charmingly vulgar banter at breakfast this morning,” she said, putting her cigarette between her lips. “And today, whenever I wasn’t cloaked or in disguise, you seemed to find it important to come up and start chattering at me. Considering your usual animosity, it seemed a little strange, and I could not find a reason for the change.”

She put the case away and took out a lighter. “And now,” she said, pausing momentarily to light the cigarette, “you come knocking at my door, for what I don’t know.” She inhaled and let the smoke trickle out her nose. “That’s a lot of ‘I don’t knows’ for me, Scout.” She looked him in the eye. “I would like to amend that.”

“Sure thing, toots,” Scout said with a cocky grin.

Spy stared at him for a moment, her face a perfect mask. Well, it was a mask, technically. “Toots,” she said at last. It wasn’t a question.

Scout nodded. “Sure, I saw you in the shower this morning.”

“I…see.” She slowly removed the cigarette from her mouth and placed it on an ashtray on her dresser. Then she turned back to Scout. “And what are you going to do about this?”  
Scout frowned. She wasn’t reacting like he thought she would. “Well,” he said, trying to sound casually charming. “For starters, how about you and me get to know one another a little better, huh?”

Spy put her hands on her hips and laughed. It wasn’t her usual laugh, the masculine one. This laugh was high pitched and sounded very weird coming out of a man’s mouth. It did still end with that stupid little snort though.

“I already know you well enough, Scout,” she said. This was the voice that belonged to the woman he’d seen coming out of the shower last night, though the accent and the speech pattern was the same. “I know that you failed your high school exit exams twice, I know that you’re afraid of rodents, I know that the brother closest to you in age shot himself in the head when you were seventeen.” 

Scout stared at her, his mouth slightly open. How the hell did she know all of that? She tilted her head and smiled at the surprise on his face. “And I know that you are going to be very disappointed tonight, if that’s what you came here for.”

“You… you cunt,” Scout snarled, his surprise turning very quickly into rage.

Her eyebrows went up again. “Sacre bleu, Scout, what language.”

Scout balled his hands into fists. Okay, so she was a mouthy bitch, not much of a surprise. He still wanted to fuck her. Maybe he’d be a little less nice about it, but she was French, wasn’t she? Freakin’ bitch probably loved that sort of crap.

Scout lunged at her, and the next instant he was bent over double with his arm twisted painfully behind his back.

“What the fu – ” Scout struggled, which only meant that his legs got kicked out from under himself and he landed with her full weight on him.

“Oomph,” Scout exclaimed. “You suck, you shape-shifting rat!” He struggled against her hold, then stopped when a bony knee was driven into his back.

“The one night I don’t lock the door…” she muttered to herself, pressing her knee harder against his spine. Scout screamed in pain. 

“Oh, shut up,” Spy said, lessening the pressure a bit. “You’re going to have the whole team knocking on the door.”

“Good,” Scout spat, “Then I can tell them that you’re a freakin’ cross-dressing psycho bitch!”

He had been expecting her to hurt him again after that comment, but she didn’t. Instead, she relaxed the pressure holding his arm in place a little bit, so it no longer felt like it was being twisted out of its socket.

“No one would believe you,” she sneered.

“Yeah, well, all’d they have to do is take away your stupid cigarette box. Can’t keep up that look without it, can you?” Scout didn’t actually know this, but it was a decent enough guess. Had he paused to consider the sudden thought, he might not have said it, but Scout rarely paused to consider the stuff that came out of his mouth.

In this case, his wild guess proved to be correct, because Spy was suddenly off of him. Scout scrambled to his feet and put his fists up, but Spy wasn’t looking to fight. She was leaning against the dresser with her arms crossed, scowling at him.

Scout smirked and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, wouldn’t like that, would you rat-fa...uh, lady.” He was going to have to rethink some of his insults. Actually, if he still wanted to get laid, insults might be a bad idea for the moment.

“That much is obvious, even to an incompetent fool like yourself.” Spy said, using her man-voice again.

“Hey now, if I were you, I’d be nicer to me.” Scout smirked. He’d had a sudden idea, and it was a good one. “And I mean much nicer, if you get my drift.”

Spy raised her eyebrows. “Scout,” she said, “If I didn’t know how stupid you were, I would think you were trying to blackmail me.”

“That’s the idea, toots.” 

“So… unless I sleep with you, you will reveal my identity, is that it?”

Scout grinned. Okay, so things hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but it looked like he was going to get laid anyway.

If Scout was expecting her to smile, fling off her disguise, and lay down on the bed, he was severely disappointed. She just continued to glower at him. “An interesting proposition. I will have to think about it.” She nodded at the door. “Get out.”

This reaction made Scout mad for a moment, but then he shrugged it off and smiled. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he said, turning and strutting to the door. “So I’ll see you in the morning,” He opened the door and shot her a grin. “Or else everyone else will see you in the afternoon.” And, on that high note, he left.

 

The next day was Saturday, so the fighting was on hold. Not that the weekend meant much at Gorge, where there was nowhere to go and enjoy oneself. Scout was in the kitchen getting a soda out of the fridge. “One more month and we’ll get rotated back,” he reminded himself, pulling the tab on the can. He’d been hoping that this last month would be a little more fun, but then Spy had turned out to be just as much of a bitch as she’d been a dick. 

Scout took a swig of his soda and scowled. She hadn’t come to talk with him all morning, like she said she would. He seriously doubted that she was going to see things his way. It’d serve her right when he went and told everyone. She’d probably get fired for it, which was what she deserved after laughing in his face last night.

Then there was suddenly a pair of hands on his chest. Scout jumped, almost spilling his soda.

“Scout….” purred a voice in his ear. There was a faint whoosh of a cloak being dropped, and the hands pulled him closer. Scout grinned as he felt a womanly chest press into his back, but when he turned his head, Spy still had on her masculine disguise.

Scout blinked. “That is freakin’ creepy.”

Spy smiled. “I have decided to take you up on your offer,” she cooed, drawing her gloved hands over his chest.

An eager grin broke out across Scout’s face. All of his previous, grumpy thoughts about her dissolved in the flood of his eager anticipation. “Why the change of heart, babe?”

Spy took a step back and shrugged. “I am a spy. You not only found out a secret of mine, but you had the balls to blackmail me. I respect that.”

Scout laughed. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” He grabbed her wrist and started to drag her down the hall to the bedrooms.

Spy tittered and pulled him up short. “Oh, not here, Petit, I have somewhere a bit more… intimate in mind.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oui,” she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

Scout jumped and backed up. “Ah, come on,” he said glancing around. “Not when you look like that, huh? People are gonna think we’re faggots or some shit.”

“Exactly my point,” she said. She turned to the door. “Come, mon petit connard, there is a place up in the mountains I will take you to, where no one will see or hear us.”

“What, like a cabin or something?” Scout asked, following her outside.

She smiled. “Yes, or something.”

She led the way to a mud spattered blue truck that waited outside the base.

“Better let me drive,” Scout said, hurrying over to the driver’s door. “I’m an excellent driver. I’ll drive the pants off of you.” He laughed at his own dumb joke.

“Scout,” Spy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, shifting her weight so that her hip stuck out in an uncharacteristically feminine fashion. “You don’t know where we are going. How are you going to drive there?”

“Oh yeah…” Scout scratched his neck. “Well, okay,” he shrugged and walked back around the truck. “Just try not to crash or nothing. Women are already crap drivers, and I know I’m pretty distracting.”

“I will try to keep my eyes on the road,” Spy said dryly as she climbed into the truck.

Scout was practically thrumming with excitement as they drove up the mountain. He’d only known there was a woman amongst them two nights ago, and here he was, about to get laid. As usual when Scout was excited, he started to talk; mostly about himself and what a fantastic time she was about to have. Of course, flirting would have been a bit more fun if every time he glanced over he didn’t see a skinny Frenchman driving.

Just to reassure himself that she was still, well, she, he reached over and groped her chest. Scout grinned. No matter what she looked like, she still felt right, and she didn’t have a bad rack.

Spy frowned and batted his hand away. “Please, Scout, not while I’m driving.” She spared him a glance and a smile. “Do not get ahead of yourself, silly boy.”

“Hey baby,” Scout said, leaning back and tucking his hands behind his head. “We get up to that cabin, and I’ll show you that I’m no boy.”

“Yes, as you’ve been saying,” she said with a tight smile.

The road twisted and turned around the mountain pass and they went higher and higher. Scout’s ears popped a few minutes into the drive, and a few minutes later the road turned in the right spot and he could see the base out the window.

“Ha ha, wow,” Scout said, pressing his face against the window. “We’re getting up pretty high.”

“Right up the mountain,” she said. 

Scout opened his mouth to start yammering again, but she interrupted him. “Scout,” she said, “May I ask how you came to be employed by BLU? Was it your first choice of employment?”

“Nah,” Scout said. “I wanted to join the army, but Ma didn’t want me to.”

“That would be after your oldest brother came home from the war without legs, yes?”

Scout frowned. “Lady, if you already know all this, why the hell did you ask?” That came out angrier than may have been warranted, but it made Scout uncomfortable that Spy knew so much.

“My apologies,” she purred. 

“Yeah, well,” Scout sniffed. “Then I found BLU’s hiring ad at the back of a Saxton Hale comic, so I signed up for their boot camp and here I am.”

“So, your second choice, then?” Spy tittered. “Funny, it was my last choice.”

“Yeah…” Scout trailed off. He was getting a little bored. He wished she would take her disguise off so he had something to look at while she chattered.

“In France, things are a little different,” she said. “My country is more accepting of women in this line of work. Male, female, it matters very little as long as the job gets done.”

“Uh-huh,” Scout said, wondering what the cabin would be like. He hoped the bed was big enough.

“But America,” Spy laughed, “Well, I came for work, and was repeatedly turned away. When I wasn’t, the payment I was offered was laughable. In the end, this ridiculous little war game was my last option. So I decided to try a different approach, and voila – it worked.”

“Well, yeah,” Scout yawned. “Sorry toots, but women just aren’t as scary as men. And ya gotta be able to incite fear. Now, take me for example…”

“Oh Scout, I thought you were afraid of me,” Spy interrupted with a smile. “Are you not now?”

Scout frowned at being interrupted. “Why would I be afraid of a woman?”

Spy laughed, and this time it was a genuine laugh, not one for emphasize or sentence flavor. It was a genuine laugh because it was mostly snorting. “You know,” she tittered when she was through, “my ex-husband said the same thing to me.”

Scout blinked in surprise. “You have an ex? Fuck, how old are you?”

Spy blinked. “A lady never tells, and a gentleman never asks.”

“You don’t look like no lady to me,” Scout muttered, looking her masculine disguise up and down.

“Indeed,” Spy replied. She turned the car, and they ended up on a large, flat, dirt circle. She turned off the engine and got out.

Scout climbed out of the truck and looked around. They were high enough up that there was still snow clumped up in dirty patches. He couldn’t see the base, though. There was nothing below them but a carpet of trees. He also didn’t see any cabin.

“What gives?” he asked, arms crossed.

Spy gestured off to the side, where a dirt trail continued up the cliff. “Just up there,” she said, smiling. “We have to walk from here.”

“Humph,” Scout scowled. “Yeah, okay. But you gotta take the disguise off,” he ordered. “I’m tired of looking at that ugly mug.”

Spy raised her eyebrows, then reached up and tugged her balaclava off. The Frenchman she was pretending to be was clean shaven and had stylish black hair that refused to be tousled by the mask.

Scout rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Spy smiled and took out her cigarette case. She opened it, and a few seconds later the body beneath the suit had changed. Breasts pressed against the front fabric and the pants clung tighter to wider hips. Her hair was suddenly curled to the point of frizz, and had changed to a lighter brown.

Spy looked up, and Scout frowned. “You’re all scarred up.”

Spy blinked. She touched the small, half moon scar on her rounded chin. “Knife fight when I was eighteen,” she said.

“What about the one on your forehead?”

Spy moved aside a small fringe of bangs, revealing the entirety of the pink scar tissue that arched over her right eyebrow. “I was hit by a shovel,” she explained.

Scout snorted and studied her face closer. She was a lot…plainer than he’d been expecting. Weren’t all French women supposed to be smoking hot? “You’re not even wearing any make-up or nothing,” Scout said with disappointment. “Didn’t you want to get yourself prettied up for me?”

Spy raised her (admittedly shapelier than before) eyebrows, “If you would like me to put the disguise back on…”

“Jeez, no. Anything’s better than that.”

“Then shall we?” she asked with a smirk, gesturing towards the mountain path. Scout nodded, and they started walking.

“So, uh, hey,” Scout said, “I got a question about your little doo-hickey.”

Spy looked at him quizzically. “Already with the sex talk, petit?”

“What?” Scout blinked. “Uh, no, I mean your, uh, man disguise.”

“Oh,” she laughed lightly. “Forgive me. I assume that when I do not know what you’re talking about it must be some quaint sexual idiom.”

“Right,” Scout said, not entirely sure what idiom meant. “So, anyways, ya know how when you die or something when you’re in disguise, the disguise goes away? How come you don’t turn back into a girl when that happens? How come you just switch to your man look?”

Spy pursed her lips. “Well, I’m not sure if you’d understand the explanation.”

“Aw, come on,” Scout scoffed. “I’m not stupid or nuthin’.”

“Well, what do you know about metamaterials?”

“Depends,” Scout said, frowning. “What’re they?”

“Well, what about the theory of advanced holography?”

“Uh…”

“I see,” she sighed and smiled at him. “Let’s just say that the ‘man disguise’ is better than the others, and I have it set as my default, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Scout scowled. “Not like it matters or anything.” He lapsed into a moody silence for a few moments. Then he started talking about himself again.

Spy sighed, and who could blame her? Scout was used to women sighing after him. He was just that awesome. She was lucky she wasn’t the fainting type, or else he’d have to carry her the rest of the way to the cabin.

The path skirted the edge of the cliff, and Scout paused to look down. He whistled. “That’s a long way to fucking fall.”

“Yes…” Spy said, looking back along the way they had come. “Yes, I think this is far enough.” She looked at Scout and smiled coyly. “Come here, petit,” she purred, loosening her tie.

Scout blinked at her. “Well hey,” he grinned and Spy slipped in closer to him. “I know it’s hard to keep your hands off me, babe, but what about the cabin?”

“Oh, Scout…” she chuckled, kissing a line up his neck until her lips reached his ear. She sucked his lobe, eliciting a groan from Scout. “There is no cabin.”

“What does tha…” Scout cut off with a choking scream as the knife cut through his stomach.

“I am going to gut you like a Cornish game hen,” she snarled in his ear, twisting the knife in his gut.

Scout screamed again and pushed back from the Spy. “You –ack– you bitch.” Scout spat out, putting his hands to the sickeningly deep gash in his abdomen. Blood was flooding out at an alarming rate, and though Scout was used to mortal wounds, there was a rushing in his ears and he suddenly felt light headed. 

“You bitch,” he repeated, glaring at Spy’s smirking face. “You led me on. I’m gonna tell them all about you now, you fucking cunt.”

Spy chuckled. “And how are you planning on doing that, petit?”

Scout coughed and his mouth filled with blood. He spat it at her fancy black shoes. “When I get outta respawn, I’m gonna…”

“Respawn?” Spy tittered. She reached over and pinched Scout’s cheek between her gloved fingers. “Oh, poor, stupid Scout. You’re not going to respawn.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

She grinned at him. “We left the respawn range when we left the truck, silly boy.” She laughed. “You are actually dying.”

Scout stared at her, blood dripping from his chin and flowing from between his fingers. “Wh—what?” She was lying. He wasn’t going to die, that wasn’t…

“Au revoir!” She said brightly, blowing him a kiss. Then she put her hand on his chest and shoved.

Scout, his hands still on his wound, stumbled backwards and fell off the cliff. He screamed, and the last thing he saw before his head smashed against the rocks was Spy waving him good-bye.


End file.
